Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
