lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
