i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
