You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
