So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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