ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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