I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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