i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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