i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
