In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
