There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
