Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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