the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
