Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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