I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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