Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's blow job season.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
