Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
