how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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