He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
