I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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