nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
