My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
