after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
