It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
