I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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