my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I love you.
Bad choice
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
