That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
