Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
