And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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