i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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