ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
