I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
