we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
