Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ugly people sure do ruin things
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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