he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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