please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
