butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
