yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Randomize
