i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
