she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
