apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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