I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Green mimosas i think yes
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
