haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
