But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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