All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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