It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
