they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
