we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
