Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
