I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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