Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
